Grordbort Industries is pleased to reveal to the world a brand spanking new, man-size, limited edition, heavyweight raygun.
An edition of only 400, every single one is made by hand from metal components. It comes with its own velvet lined pressed tin case, a Certificate of Authenticity and includes a Universal Gun Stand. Right there in the case! Hazzaah!
The good folks in the Product Development shed at Grordbort Industries (none more so than the unfortunate Mr Pearce) were hired to go down seldom trodden paths in their relentless quest for perfection. Who doesn't recall the infamous Troglodactic Confounder of '86. The carnage! Incredible.
This time, while hiding behind the generic moniker of "Ray Gun", their engineers claim to have perfected the elusive infra-compunctive resonance perversion (IRP). Early field tests allegedly left much to the imagination (particle acceleration - my arse!), but recently, the Pearce test range near Inverness has had more than occasional visits by the emergency services. Always a good sign.
The ultimate clue to its unique capabilities is its contemporary exterior. Smooth (some say shiny) surfaces offset against accents of crimson. It is a stellar piece of engineering and industrial design and we are proud to add it to Dr Grordbort's range.
Designed by Greg Broadmore. Sculpted and built by David Tremont.
A beautiful buxomly bulbous body
Shiny. Sleek. Silvery. Sciencey. Shimmering. Streamlined. Slinky. Scintillating. Symphonious. Satiny. Sheeny. Slick.... Read more.
Shiny. Sleek. Silvery. Sciencey. Shimmering. Streamlined. Slinky. Scintillating. Symphonious. Satiny. Sheeny. Slick. Splendiferous. Sublime. Silken. Sinuous. Sensual. Slippery. Sexyâ€¦ I say, steady on there!
These are just some of the words beginning with â€œSâ€ which the Pearce 75 brings instantly to mind, its lambent, limpid, luminous, lucent lustre complementing its effulgent, coruscating form. It quite brings out the sensitive soul in me! It is a bloody lethal little bugger as well!
The up-to-the minute styling of the Pearce, straddling the border as it does between the Art Deco and Streamline styles, is so modern, it even resembles the latest space rocket models pioneered by that creative genius, Dr Hans Zarkov.
This sleek and silvery styling is quite a contrast to the previous Dr G ray guns, and as befits it lesser age, neither it nor the case are weathered or worn. The gun itself is marvelously shaped and proportioned, the crimson areas have on the whole been lovingly painted, and the body is not just a solid silver colour, but does have some subtle texture in the metallic finish. It is all made of metal of course, and I am very glad to say that it has plenty of curvaceous piping, some at quite ludicrously convoluted angles, as a good ray gun should!
The Art Deco fin is wonderful, and the two aether bulbs on either side are the only part of the Pearce which are finished less well, the crimson paint having been applied a tad scruffily, but really not enough to detract from its magnificence. The handle is also suitably bulbous, with red rings and the â€œbackwards-B75â€ logo, and the gun sits very comfortably in the hand, although be warned that it is as heavy as the Goliathon 83. The trigger has a nice movement, and there are moving switches on either side of the body. It also has a great little gauge, which indicates Reflux-Influx in the customarily logical Grordbortâ€™s scale of 0, 23, 77, 975, 1/3, and finally to infinity in the red â€œgoogleplexâ€ range. There are nice couple of oojamaflips linking the tubing on either side of the buxomly bulbous body, and the darker gun-metal coloured parts are very tastefully finished as well. It has various slivery hemispherical studs in strategic places, and the pointy parts on top and at the business end are suitably slender but threatening.
The case is also new and shiny, with a three dimensional bas-relief of the Pearce â€œbolted on-topâ€ of the case attached to a kind of mount. It also appears to be made of new fangled â€œimitation metalâ€, and in the images I thought that it looked much worse than the other, almost sculptural cases. However, in the flesh it is much better looking, although I do prefer the finer, metal bas-reliefs on the other ray guns. Inside the case has a splendid blue velvet lining (non-distressed with age), and it looks very good. There is the usual brochure with unhelpful instructions and adverts for other products, and a lovely metal gun stand. This IS showing a bit of rust, and I think it is the same as the normal gun stand, but with only one square peg for the Pearce. There are no other accesories.
Overall, I prefer the more aged looking, antique ray guns, but the Pearce is still a beautiful object, and well worth purchasing from Dr Grordbortâ€™s boutique. Hide.
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